I had an interesting encounter last night. I was taking one of those continuing education classes last night, zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzfest, and there was a young girl in the class that looked just like girl I went to college with. I knew it was random, but I asked her if it was possible that her mom was my old acquaintance. She told me that her mom had not gone to my college but to a Nazarene college. As a matter of fact, the girl had been raised Nazarene also. Then the conversation went weird and I am not exactly sure what all was said. Let me start by describing this girl. She was in her early twenties and beautiful. She has beautiful skin, big blue eyes and long golden blond hair. She was petite....well, most of her was petite. She kind of reminded me of the pole with warning lights at a train track intersection. Sorry,but that was the overall shape. She also had a nervous bounce to her as she talked, kind of like a nervous tick , a nervous tick with a purpose.
She announced to me that she had recently moved here from Miami where she had worked in a big, 24 hour strip club. “Yep, all nude, all day...24/7. That's where I worked; I loved it, great money”. Suddenly her “warning-lights-pole-at-a-train-track” alliteration made sense. I didn't know what to say. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know where to look. I have no idea what else she said but fortunately and uncharacteristically, my mouth stayed shut as my mind wondered.
I don't know why I was suddenly feeling protective of my old friend that wasn't my old friend but all I could think about was what happened to her money while she was dancing. I mean, if she was buck naked and people were tipping her, did she wear a garter to hold the money? Would they just throw money on the stage? If they threw money on the stage and she did some kind of cartwheel or big spin or something and she were to knock some money off of the stage would people steal it? Would they put it back up on the stage and pretend it was their tip? What happened after she was finished? Did she have to grab a broom and a dust pan and sweep all the money up? That wouldn't be attractive. Wouldn't that leave here with dirty money mixed with glitter? That just didn't sound sanitary at all. Did they have somebody do all this for her after her “routine” and did she have to tip them out at the end of the night? Did they sweep up and ever secretly hide some of it and not give it all to her?
My brain was exhausted trying to figure it all out while blurring out the reality of the profession of the girl standing in front of me talking, bouncing up and down as she talked , wearing a t-shirt so thin that it left about as much to the imagination as a Saran Wrapped Butterball turkey. Then it happened, she stopped talking. I have no idea what she had been saying. She might have just told me where she was now working or that her dog had just died. I had no idea so I didn't know what to say. I just looked at her and said, “So your mom went to a Nazarene college and you....wow... don't guess she saw that coming!” I knew that didn't come out right and might have sounded insulting and as her golden silky hair was catching the sunlight, I said, “ I would love to feel of your hair.” What? Now, remember, I used to be a hair stylist, so I do appreciate a good head of hair. She stepped back and like a reflex, replied, “No touching”. Wow, that sentence popped out of her mouth like it was something she said every day.
She looked at me like I was some creepy guy old enough to be her dad, asking if I could run my fingers through her hair....oh wait. It was then that I knew my brain wasn't working properly, I was out of my element and that I needed to exit. If I had just kept my mouth shut I would have never known any of this. How do I get myself in these situations? I know there are people out there that have that five minute introductory speech memorized that allows a quick and painless exit in stranger situations and maybe I should work on one, but as for now, I just have awkward moments and bad responses.
She announced to me that she had recently moved here from Miami where she had worked in a big, 24 hour strip club. “Yep, all nude, all day...24/7. That's where I worked; I loved it, great money”. Suddenly her “warning-lights-pole-at-a-train-track” alliteration made sense. I didn't know what to say. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know where to look. I have no idea what else she said but fortunately and uncharacteristically, my mouth stayed shut as my mind wondered.
I don't know why I was suddenly feeling protective of my old friend that wasn't my old friend but all I could think about was what happened to her money while she was dancing. I mean, if she was buck naked and people were tipping her, did she wear a garter to hold the money? Would they just throw money on the stage? If they threw money on the stage and she did some kind of cartwheel or big spin or something and she were to knock some money off of the stage would people steal it? Would they put it back up on the stage and pretend it was their tip? What happened after she was finished? Did she have to grab a broom and a dust pan and sweep all the money up? That wouldn't be attractive. Wouldn't that leave here with dirty money mixed with glitter? That just didn't sound sanitary at all. Did they have somebody do all this for her after her “routine” and did she have to tip them out at the end of the night? Did they sweep up and ever secretly hide some of it and not give it all to her?
My brain was exhausted trying to figure it all out while blurring out the reality of the profession of the girl standing in front of me talking, bouncing up and down as she talked , wearing a t-shirt so thin that it left about as much to the imagination as a Saran Wrapped Butterball turkey. Then it happened, she stopped talking. I have no idea what she had been saying. She might have just told me where she was now working or that her dog had just died. I had no idea so I didn't know what to say. I just looked at her and said, “So your mom went to a Nazarene college and you....wow... don't guess she saw that coming!” I knew that didn't come out right and might have sounded insulting and as her golden silky hair was catching the sunlight, I said, “ I would love to feel of your hair.” What? Now, remember, I used to be a hair stylist, so I do appreciate a good head of hair. She stepped back and like a reflex, replied, “No touching”. Wow, that sentence popped out of her mouth like it was something she said every day.
She looked at me like I was some creepy guy old enough to be her dad, asking if I could run my fingers through her hair....oh wait. It was then that I knew my brain wasn't working properly, I was out of my element and that I needed to exit. If I had just kept my mouth shut I would have never known any of this. How do I get myself in these situations? I know there are people out there that have that five minute introductory speech memorized that allows a quick and painless exit in stranger situations and maybe I should work on one, but as for now, I just have awkward moments and bad responses.
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