Exotic or Expired?

It all started with the desire to eat healthy. I went out to eat last night with the distinct plan of ordering a salad. I didn’t order a salad but I was still “good”. I ordered something called a “skinny burger”. How could I go wrong, right? It was actually a grilled turkey burger and even though there was cheddar involved, it was still a turkey burger. “Have you ever seen a fat turkey?” I asked myself as sort of positive confirmation on my decision. Then it hit me, yes, yes I have seen a fat turkey. Every turkey I have ever seen in my entire life has been fat….as a matter of fact, I think that is where the term “butterball” came from. Entire holiday feasts center around a big overstuffed fat turkey. Anyway, it was delicious and huge and I left there feeling a bit like a butterball turkey…still, it was a skinny burger.

I headed straight to Kroger to stock up on skinny food and diet green tea. That was the plan and I was determined to stick to it. I left Kroger with a five pound pork loin, a bag of potatoes and a dream. I had a dream of waking up the next morning in a house filled with the aroma of having someone who knows how to cook, living there. I had no recipe, or back knowledge, just a dream and raw materials.

I fired up Crockzilla, who got way too much sleep this winter, and corralled my “fixins”. I lined Crockzilla with some olive oil and a little water. Next were lots of green beans, red skin potatoes cut into big chunks, some chicken bouillon, and a sprinkling of French onion soup mix. Next I lowered the pork loin on top off all this, like a sacrifice, cut it open down the middle, stuffed it with garlic cloves, Dijon mustard, honey butter, black pepper and garlic salt. I covered everything with mushrooms cut into big chunks and gave everything another sprinkle of pepper and garlic salt. Then I slept.

I woke up this morning to a great smelling house. I loved it. They should make home cooking scented candles…dibs!....I call dibs on this idea…it’s in writing and I have witnesses. Anyway, I didn’t have time to try it until I ran back home tonight and grabbed a quick bite before having to leave again and I am not sure what the heck I created. The meat was very tender. It was kind of good…in a way. It tasted like something between a dish you would get at an foreign restaurant that had that one exotic spice that you just couldn’t quite put your finger on but you were sure it was an acquired taste and that you should probably like it , and between something, that if you were served that dish at the Cracker Barrel, you would send it back and say, “Honey, something in this dish has gone bad.” Do you know what I mean? That flavor that is riding that fine line between exotic and expired? That flavor was the overall taste of the entire Crockzilla creation.

I will go home and try it again over brown rice. Rice is the peacemaker of many an over-seasoned/exotic dish. I think it will be fine and maybe even delicious, once I calm it down with brown rice. I am not sure how all this plays into my new idea of eating healthy but at least it was ‘ho-made. That’s a start. If you are trying to reach me tonight, forget about it; I’m busy. I’ve got some candles to make!