Saturday night mom had to be put on oxygen. Her health is failing and it seems her body is shutting down. It’s so hard to know what to post in this modern world of overshare but at the same time what a wonderful way to stay in touch, informed and updated. It is nice to some times have all your friends in one room. So…I share. Mom is very weak, not eating, and on her way out of this world. As many ...times as she has been near death’s door, we know that she is too frail to rally back and we all feel her time is near. Today it seems like it is eminent.
We will fall apart; I am sure of it. It’s hard to not be selfish here but it is harder to watch someone struggle for breath. I see my dad and I reacting alike, trying to ignore the obvious until we can no longer do so. Tonight we went through pictures, so many forgotten memories. Right now I barely remember anything about her other than the past few years with Alzheimer’s. I am looking forward to the flood of good memories to come back.
Right now it’s like sitting on the bottom of the pool underwater and looking around…suspended animation. This will be a rough week. My thoughts are with my dad who is about to lose his wife/girlfriend/mother of his children/soulmate. He will be lost. I know a lot of my friends have already gone through this. They all seemed so strong. I am not; I won’t do it well. I know there are the thoughts of mom being free from the bondage of a broken body and for her to be happy and whole again. I’ll get there; I am working on that, but for now, it is all just hopelessly sad.
We will fall apart; I am sure of it. It’s hard to not be selfish here but it is harder to watch someone struggle for breath. I see my dad and I reacting alike, trying to ignore the obvious until we can no longer do so. Tonight we went through pictures, so many forgotten memories. Right now I barely remember anything about her other than the past few years with Alzheimer’s. I am looking forward to the flood of good memories to come back.
Right now it’s like sitting on the bottom of the pool underwater and looking around…suspended animation. This will be a rough week. My thoughts are with my dad who is about to lose his wife/girlfriend/mother of his children/soulmate. He will be lost. I know a lot of my friends have already gone through this. They all seemed so strong. I am not; I won’t do it well. I know there are the thoughts of mom being free from the bondage of a broken body and for her to be happy and whole again. I’ll get there; I am working on that, but for now, it is all just hopelessly sad.
