My mom has been on Hospice for over two years from her
complications with Alzheimer’s. She hasn’t been able to move, speak, or from
what I can tell, even know when we are in the room for a very long time. Her
body has atrophied and twisted…yet with that being said, she is still
“healthy”. If I could understand for one moment what she has been going through
in her own mind, I am pretty sure I would break apart and just collapse into
the ground.
When people watch their loved ones go through these types of
things, it is hard, it is frustrating and it leaves them with a sad/angry
frustration that can permanently flip their lives around. Often the range of
emotions are so big that people tend to isolate themselves and “go to their
corners” to think, worry, plan and weep. It seems odd but we often pull apart
in isolation when we should pull together for support. It’s part of our human
nature that is a weakness and not a strength: to do the opposite of what is
best for us.
Maybe part of this is to not burden others or maybe we just
don’t trust our emotions in public. Either way, we often find ourselves
suffering in silence when our loved ones are facing a terminal illness or traumatic
event. In these same situations, I see people lose their faith…I understand
that. When the human experience turns so terrible we wonder where God is. We
question how He could let it happen. We forget that we are trying to explain
things in human terms. It’s like having one little black piece of a giant
puzzle and trying guess or assume that we know what the entire picture is. I
have my ideas and ways to help explain, we all do. The thing I think that is
important is that I don’t think for one second God likes this. I think He grieves
with us and for us . He also knows our time here, though precious, is brief. In
the bigger picture, our entire life here on earth is like one breath in our
eternal life. We have to remember that God lets man make his own decisions. He
lets man make bad choices. He allows man to pollute the air, water, food and
every aspect of this earth. Unfortunately, innocent people end up paying the
price for the evil intentions and ignorance of others. No matter how blessed or
cursed our lives seem to be, it is a temporary
appointment.
I understand how people can lose their faith when faced with
seemingly impossible life situations, situations that are tragic and have no
happy endings. Once again, I think we find ourselves doing the opposite of what
we should be doing. We pull away from our faith, God and our church families
when what we need to be doing is clinging to and leaning on, all of the above. If
you find yourself in one of these type situations, remember to try to keep
perspective. There are times when you will need to be alone but remember not to
wall yourself in . Allow people who care about you to care for you. God has the
broadest shoulders and wants you to lean on Him. He wants you to know He is
there to support you through all of life’s struggles. He will let you pull
away, walk away and fall away, but He will stay and wait. We bear the
burden/joy of living in a broken world, a beautiful, damaged, wonderful,
tragic, amazing, broken world…but we are really never alone, no matter how much
we may feel it or how much we may try to isolate ourselves.
