Tingle

I never know what I am going to run into at work. There is a guy who has come out here several times now and has told me he has divorced parents that don’t realize they are 80 and need homes with no upstairs. Well he came back in the other day with his mom. He had mentioned before that she was a force of nature ….and he was right.

At first glance, she was a sweet little lady with short gray hair and a nice big smile. Well, it didn’t take long to realize that her engine was running hot and she was fueled by some boundless source of energy. She never stopped moving. She was full of it. She was very friendly and animated and I kept feeling guilty for thinking that she was occasionally giving me “that look”. Shame on me! She’s was just a friendly little “Nana”, trying to be nice and my brain was trying to make something suggestive out of her kindness and smiles….and glances…and stares.

After looking around for a while and talking for about an hour on every subject you can imagine (all the while her energy level never dropped) her son asked his mom, “So do you like this?”. The mom walked over to me, stood by my side and slipped her arm into mine. It was that arm hold that you use when you escort someone down the aisle at a wedding; that arm hold. She looked at her son and said, “I’ve found what I like right here” and looked up and gave me a big smile. Her son got a bit embarrassed and said to me, “Oh yeah, my mom has a thing for younger men.” She looked up at me and said, “Yes I do! Oh yes, I certainly do.”  Then she looked up at me again, gave me a big smile, followed by a serious look (time stood still) and then another big smile. 

Wow! I was just called a “younger man”! I could have adopted her son right then and there! What a great guy. He was awesome. Anyway, once that compliment wore off and I was back to reality, still in “wedding arm hold”, I felt myself start to squirm a bit and before I knew it I was the cat in the Pepe’ Le Pew cartoon and I had slithered out from “Nana’s” talons.

I tried to laugh it off and get back to business. We sat at my desk talking shop, and she just kept giving me that “look”. I felt like a steak in the display case at the Chop House. It wasn’t long before she has worked her way around my side of the desk and was standing beside my chair. She started showing me pictures of her home. It was a really big home and beautiful. Her son said, “You should see her bedroom; it’s huge!” That was pure octane to his mom’s ever running engine and she quickly added with a coy smirk, “You should come over after you get off of work. I’ll show you everything.” (Accentuate that last word).

...--… 

Oh my word, on the outside I was calm but on the inside I was screaming, “I don’t want to see everything!!!!” Geez oh Pete and holy Moses, where is a good rapture when you need one? I was ready to go!

How do you respond to that? I mean really. I have no idea what I said or more importantly what my face said. All I know is that I didn’t take her up on her offer to “see everything” and she left. She left without her son. I was hoping they drove separately (they did) and then he stayed for about another hour talking “family dynamics”.

I drove home rethinking my day with the mixed sensations of the tingle from being called a young man and the tingle of my skin crawling from being hit on by someone my mom’s age. That’s a lot of tingle. That was an awesome house though…really awesome. I got home, went to my room, and dusted off my bucket list. I didn’t add to it, I erased something. I erased “talk to a financial advisor”. I have a whole new retirement plan.

# trophyhusband

# cougartown