Today was the day that I officially cleaned out the trunk of
my car. I am not going to say how long it has been since this epic event has
taken place but let’s just say I found a couple of items from early 2013/late
2012 in there. I tend to hoard real estate half signed contracts. They are
those that only one part is signed and then you fax them and the other party
signs them and new ones get printed off…..those. I am not sure why I keep them
but I still have that “paper trail” mentality. I am working on it. Anywho, I
decided that I had too much junk in my trunk (in so many ways) and attacked it
today. For some reason, my handyman neighbor had also picked today to clean his
spotless truck. Yes, he was out there with some kind of special cloth buffing
his truck into some kind of glossy work of art. It is a thing of beauty, bright
red with tons of chrome that just screams, “look at me, I’ve just been waxed!”….like
a Kardashian but without the whine. I
was parallel to him in my driveway , emptying the contents of my bird poop
covered car. It was almost like we were doing the exact same thing, only
different.
After pulling out tons of unnecessary files that belonged in
file 13, I realized that I still had all the stuff in there from last year’s
Alzheimer’s walk (signsm empty donation canisters,etc) , two folding lounge chairs, two small umbrellas, four gigantic
golf umbrellas (I don’t play the sport but I do appreciate their umbrellas),
three vests, a jacket, a bag of 50 empty plastic containers that I forgot to deliver, a pair of my favorite shoes that I had forgotten that I
had lost, two thermoses, a half of a sledge hammer (the heavy end), a missing
black sock and a missing white sock, five T–shirts, a real estate sign, a
cowboy hat (gift from a client that I am afraid has bodies in his crawl space),
a mountain of recyclable bags from various events (that subsequently got
recycled into the trash can-don’t judge me), a real estate sign, Tupperware, a
CD of “Two Dollar Hot Dog One Dollar Water” (given to me by the artist
himself), another set of floor mats made out of rubber, a million plastic coat
hangers, a couple of bottles of bug spray, a bottle of hornet spray, a few bags
of things I was supposed to return from Christmas, two boxes of Thank You
notes, a gallon of paint, paint brushes, stirring sticks, a Bagster for holding up to 3300 lbs of debris (maybe I
should have just driven my car into it), a bottle of Tylenol, a bag of rubber
bands, a few original shoe inserts that have been replaced with fancy shoe
inserts but that I am still not convinced should be thrown away, enough antihistamines
to put me on the FBI’s Most Wanted List, a gallon of windshield wiper fluid, a
cooler, a plethora of plastic cups that
I have used to bring out ice to my car cup, an electric hedge trimmer, and last but not least, an 80lb bag
of mortar...and a bag of guilty chips I had put in there last night. The mortar
still holds residence inside my trunk.
My neighbor never said a word. He just kept buffing his
glistening truck. I am sure he was waiting for the clowns to start climbing
out. I just couldn’t believe how huge my trunk was once it was sort of empty. I
felt like I had a new car. I’ll bet I will start getting better gas mileage ,
well, once that bag of mortar gets unloaded. I have no idea what my neighbor
was thinking but he took an awfully long time to buff his truck. I think he was
just silently taking it all in….or filming me. All I can say is that my trunk
was like a time capsule and it really brought back a lot of memories. Maybe I
should invest in a scrap book. If my neighbor could have read my mind, he would
have heard me singing, “Whatcha going to do with all that junk, all that junk
inside your truck?” but as it was, we both just remained silent and cleaned our
cars in peace. Now that the car is clean…ish, I have to figure out what to do
with all that junk, all that junk from inside my trunk. On a positive note, I
have a new/old pair of shoes to wear.
my car. I am not going to say how long it has been since this epic event has
taken place but let’s just say I found a couple of items from early 2013/late
2012 in there. I tend to hoard real estate half signed contracts. They are
those that only one part is signed and then you fax them and the other party
signs them and new ones get printed off…..those. I am not sure why I keep them
but I still have that “paper trail” mentality. I am working on it. Anywho, I
decided that I had too much junk in my trunk (in so many ways) and attacked it
today. For some reason, my handyman neighbor had also picked today to clean his
spotless truck. Yes, he was out there with some kind of special cloth buffing
his truck into some kind of glossy work of art. It is a thing of beauty, bright
red with tons of chrome that just screams, “look at me, I’ve just been waxed!”….like
a Kardashian but without the whine. I
was parallel to him in my driveway , emptying the contents of my bird poop
covered car. It was almost like we were doing the exact same thing, only
different.
After pulling out tons of unnecessary files that belonged in
file 13, I realized that I still had all the stuff in there from last year’s
Alzheimer’s walk (signsm empty donation canisters,etc) , two folding lounge chairs, two small umbrellas, four gigantic
golf umbrellas (I don’t play the sport but I do appreciate their umbrellas),
three vests, a jacket, a bag of 50 empty plastic containers that I forgot to deliver, a pair of my favorite shoes that I had forgotten that I
had lost, two thermoses, a half of a sledge hammer (the heavy end), a missing
black sock and a missing white sock, five T–shirts, a real estate sign, a
cowboy hat (gift from a client that I am afraid has bodies in his crawl space),
a mountain of recyclable bags from various events (that subsequently got
recycled into the trash can-don’t judge me), a real estate sign, Tupperware, a
CD of “Two Dollar Hot Dog One Dollar Water” (given to me by the artist
himself), another set of floor mats made out of rubber, a million plastic coat
hangers, a couple of bottles of bug spray, a bottle of hornet spray, a few bags
of things I was supposed to return from Christmas, two boxes of Thank You
notes, a gallon of paint, paint brushes, stirring sticks, a Bagster for holding up to 3300 lbs of debris (maybe I
should have just driven my car into it), a bottle of Tylenol, a bag of rubber
bands, a few original shoe inserts that have been replaced with fancy shoe
inserts but that I am still not convinced should be thrown away, enough antihistamines
to put me on the FBI’s Most Wanted List, a gallon of windshield wiper fluid, a
cooler, a plethora of plastic cups that
I have used to bring out ice to my car cup, an electric hedge trimmer, and last but not least, an 80lb bag
of mortar...and a bag of guilty chips I had put in there last night. The mortar
still holds residence inside my trunk.
My neighbor never said a word. He just kept buffing his
glistening truck. I am sure he was waiting for the clowns to start climbing
out. I just couldn’t believe how huge my trunk was once it was sort of empty. I
felt like I had a new car. I’ll bet I will start getting better gas mileage ,
well, once that bag of mortar gets unloaded. I have no idea what my neighbor
was thinking but he took an awfully long time to buff his truck. I think he was
just silently taking it all in….or filming me. All I can say is that my trunk
was like a time capsule and it really brought back a lot of memories. Maybe I
should invest in a scrap book. If my neighbor could have read my mind, he would
have heard me singing, “Whatcha going to do with all that junk, all that junk
inside your truck?” but as it was, we both just remained silent and cleaned our
cars in peace. Now that the car is clean…ish, I have to figure out what to do
with all that junk, all that junk from inside my trunk. On a positive note, I
have a new/old pair of shoes to wear.
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