Don’t you hate it when you are out of town and you stop at a
local home improvement store just to check and see if possibly they carry
anything different from your local home improvement store so you run inside for
a quick inventory scan/time kill, and as you go up and down some aisles you
think you notice a few different things (as if you have the entire inventory
back home memorized) and before you know it you are walking down the shower
stall aisle and you remember that once upon a time you had thought about
putting in a walk-in shower but it had been a year or two since you had checked
them out so you start looking carefully and trying to picture how it would all
look in your bathroom and all the sudden you come upon a snazzy looking corner
shower with a rounded wall and a rounded sliding glass door and you start
thinking about how much space that would save you and you start picturing the
shelves you could build to hold towels, like a spa, and you start to get
visions from every HGTV show you have ever seen on bathroom makeovers and you
just know you have found the missing link to making your ugly bathroom a place where guest will want to come over
and just hang out so you check the price and it is on sale and suddenly the endorphins
start flowing and your check card is starting to quiver and every thought of
your current shower reminds you how hideously ugly it is and you wonder why you
hadn’t thought about it more so the more you look at this new shower the more
you have to have it but the only thing you worry about is whether or not you
will fit into it so you try to mentally teleport yourself into it but you know
that there is nothing like the real thing so you check it out and the handle
for the door is all the way to the back of the display and beside the display
is a large crate, so your squeeze your arm between the crate and the rounded
wall/door and all the way to the back you are able to grasp the handle and
slide the door forward and open it and without much hesitation you climb inside
and feel really tall and wide so you pull the rounded door back around so that
you are enclosed in rounded glass and fiberglass and you move around a bit and
cautiously go through some shower motions to make sure your elbows won’t hit
anything and even though you are doing ok you somehow have a feeling that this
space saving shower might just be lacking in space and that if you were to go straight
out “full shower” you might break something so you try to start convincing
yourself that maybe it is not such a good idea and if you did build that shelf
for your towels that you would need to buy some new fancy ones as yours have an
occasional hole in them or a stain from cleaning up a kitchen disaster or last
minute car scrub and towels aren’t cheap, at least not the fancy kind, and if
you did all this the vanity was going to look dated and the whole room was
probably going to need a new coat of paint and before you know it that shower
stall is not so appealing so you try to regain focus and when you do you see
people are walking nearby so you decide to get out of the shower before someone
notices you and for some reason that curved door will not open so you slide it
back and start over but it snags again and you feel the panic start to set in
mixed with a huge desire to go to the bathroom so you push and pull on that
stupid curved door wondering who in their right minds would ever want a tiny space
saving shower with a curved door and before you know it, you feel eyes on you
and you look up and there is a little Asian lady, about 150 years old, just
standing there staring at you with her purse dangling from her arm so you ask
her to get some help but she just stares at you as if you were a rare species
at the local zoo being featured that month and before long you have to accept
the fact that she doesn’t speak English but before you write her off and yell
over her head she holds up one finger, the international sign for “hold on just
a second”, gets her phone out of her purse, snaps a picture of you, checks said picture, and
then walks off shaking her head and utters what sounds a bit like “Thomas” you
are pretty sure she said something insulting so you give the door a couple of
potentially harmful tugs and bam, the door pops of its track and wedges between
the curved shower wall and the giant crate beside it and the reality that you
are completely stuck settles in so you start softly calling for help and slowly
turn up the volume as the pressure from claustrophobia and pressure from your
bladder start to compete for your attention and finally a kid straight from
high school algebra class, but in uniform, walks up, looks at you, says “sorry
but this isn’t my department soo….uh, I think the guy that works in this
department may be on break soo…” so you let him know that absolutely anybody
will do and he leaves and comes back with the oldest living female to currently
be working in a home improvement store in the Continental US weighing in at
just under 100 pounds and she looks at you and tells you the story about how
she too once got stuck in the shower at home and had the door taken down and
put up a shower curtain (from The Wal-Marts) instead, and to this day refuses
to have anything but a shower curtain, and then she pulls out a phone, not to
take a picture but to beep a fellow employee to come help, who is apparently
The Flash when he was not at work because it takes him all of about two seconds
to appear and he quickly organizes himself and Jr. to push the crate a few
inches over so that he could then remove the door and get you out of there
while still maintaining his best training by asking you what you thought about
the corner shower and all you can think about is finding the nearest restroom
and the only thing you are sure of at that moment is that once you get inside
that restroom, no matter what, you are not about to go into a stall and as you
make your way to the restroom doing your best quick step you decide that your
bathroom at home is really not all that hideous after all? Yeah, I hate it when
that happens too.
local home improvement store just to check and see if possibly they carry
anything different from your local home improvement store so you run inside for
a quick inventory scan/time kill, and as you go up and down some aisles you
think you notice a few different things (as if you have the entire inventory
back home memorized) and before you know it you are walking down the shower
stall aisle and you remember that once upon a time you had thought about
putting in a walk-in shower but it had been a year or two since you had checked
them out so you start looking carefully and trying to picture how it would all
look in your bathroom and all the sudden you come upon a snazzy looking corner
shower with a rounded wall and a rounded sliding glass door and you start
thinking about how much space that would save you and you start picturing the
shelves you could build to hold towels, like a spa, and you start to get
visions from every HGTV show you have ever seen on bathroom makeovers and you
just know you have found the missing link to making your ugly bathroom a place where guest will want to come over
and just hang out so you check the price and it is on sale and suddenly the endorphins
start flowing and your check card is starting to quiver and every thought of
your current shower reminds you how hideously ugly it is and you wonder why you
hadn’t thought about it more so the more you look at this new shower the more
you have to have it but the only thing you worry about is whether or not you
will fit into it so you try to mentally teleport yourself into it but you know
that there is nothing like the real thing so you check it out and the handle
for the door is all the way to the back of the display and beside the display
is a large crate, so your squeeze your arm between the crate and the rounded
wall/door and all the way to the back you are able to grasp the handle and
slide the door forward and open it and without much hesitation you climb inside
and feel really tall and wide so you pull the rounded door back around so that
you are enclosed in rounded glass and fiberglass and you move around a bit and
cautiously go through some shower motions to make sure your elbows won’t hit
anything and even though you are doing ok you somehow have a feeling that this
space saving shower might just be lacking in space and that if you were to go straight
out “full shower” you might break something so you try to start convincing
yourself that maybe it is not such a good idea and if you did build that shelf
for your towels that you would need to buy some new fancy ones as yours have an
occasional hole in them or a stain from cleaning up a kitchen disaster or last
minute car scrub and towels aren’t cheap, at least not the fancy kind, and if
you did all this the vanity was going to look dated and the whole room was
probably going to need a new coat of paint and before you know it that shower
stall is not so appealing so you try to regain focus and when you do you see
people are walking nearby so you decide to get out of the shower before someone
notices you and for some reason that curved door will not open so you slide it
back and start over but it snags again and you feel the panic start to set in
mixed with a huge desire to go to the bathroom so you push and pull on that
stupid curved door wondering who in their right minds would ever want a tiny space
saving shower with a curved door and before you know it, you feel eyes on you
and you look up and there is a little Asian lady, about 150 years old, just
standing there staring at you with her purse dangling from her arm so you ask
her to get some help but she just stares at you as if you were a rare species
at the local zoo being featured that month and before long you have to accept
the fact that she doesn’t speak English but before you write her off and yell
over her head she holds up one finger, the international sign for “hold on just
a second”, gets her phone out of her purse, snaps a picture of you, checks said picture, and
then walks off shaking her head and utters what sounds a bit like “Thomas” you
are pretty sure she said something insulting so you give the door a couple of
potentially harmful tugs and bam, the door pops of its track and wedges between
the curved shower wall and the giant crate beside it and the reality that you
are completely stuck settles in so you start softly calling for help and slowly
turn up the volume as the pressure from claustrophobia and pressure from your
bladder start to compete for your attention and finally a kid straight from
high school algebra class, but in uniform, walks up, looks at you, says “sorry
but this isn’t my department soo….uh, I think the guy that works in this
department may be on break soo…” so you let him know that absolutely anybody
will do and he leaves and comes back with the oldest living female to currently
be working in a home improvement store in the Continental US weighing in at
just under 100 pounds and she looks at you and tells you the story about how
she too once got stuck in the shower at home and had the door taken down and
put up a shower curtain (from The Wal-Marts) instead, and to this day refuses
to have anything but a shower curtain, and then she pulls out a phone, not to
take a picture but to beep a fellow employee to come help, who is apparently
The Flash when he was not at work because it takes him all of about two seconds
to appear and he quickly organizes himself and Jr. to push the crate a few
inches over so that he could then remove the door and get you out of there
while still maintaining his best training by asking you what you thought about
the corner shower and all you can think about is finding the nearest restroom
and the only thing you are sure of at that moment is that once you get inside
that restroom, no matter what, you are not about to go into a stall and as you
make your way to the restroom doing your best quick step you decide that your
bathroom at home is really not all that hideous after all? Yeah, I hate it when
that happens too.
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