Wednesday, July 15, 2015

Getting Sauced

It's seems like everybody I know has
been talking about this hot sauce. There is even a commercial with an
old lady on it that says she puts it on everything. So, the other
night, I made a late night run to Kroger while I was hungry. Thirty
minutes later I was sitting down in front of the TV with a bucket of
pasta before me . I slathered on the Sriracha and Parmesan cheese and
was starving. It was  like a one man pasta eating contest...and I was
winning.



I was, I don't know, mid-bucket and I
suddenly came to the realization that my mouth was on fire. My taste
buds were numb, my gums were throbbing and my lips were growing....or
at least they felt like they were growing.



As I sniffled and wiped back the tears,
I wondered why in the world people like hot and spicy food. I've
never been a fan of it but for some reason, at that moment , with
half a bucket of flaming pasta staring at me, daring my fork to make
a move, I became a fan. I'm not sure what that was all about but
adding that layer of zing to the food, somehow appealed to me for the
first time.



I'm afraid that I am now addicted to
that inferno sensation and I  want to add it to everything.
Fortunately , I have a limited cooking knowledge so it I just going
on pasta. I think later on this summer, when I figure out how to put
a grill together, I'll make some kind of fresh off the grill fake
burger and add some of this sauce to it. My fear is that I am going
to find it is made out of some toxic chemicals, crack, Sudafed or
something and then take it off the market . I finally get “feel the
burn”.  No more need for the gym, I've got all the burn I could
ever need in a bottle. It even makes me sweat...and I don't mind. I'm
not too worried though. I am almost withing walking distance to an
Asian market that sells dehydrated endangered sea creatures in clear
plastic bags. I am pretty sure I will always be able  to order a case
of sauce from them.


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