Thinking Outside the Box

I went to the new Dollar General Store tonight over by one of my favorite Mexican restaurants. Thank goodness they built this one because the other three are at least two miles away. I went in to buy some more body wash, as my Strawberry Shortcake wash is about to run out. It was just like every other DG that I have every been to: packed shelves, a long checkout  line and a slow cashier. It was nice and new and I made my way over to the body wash section and they had it all on shelves behind plastic doors. They weren’t locked or anything but you had to lift the door up to get it to the soap (kind of like a Mexican bakery). The odd thing was that every time I lifted up the door, a loud, store-wide doorbell went off. At first I thought it was an alarm but nobody came running over. I looked around and waited for a teen manager to come over and give me the stink eye but it never happened, so I just kept on shopping/sniffing. I made sure to check each one out carefully this time to make sure they didn’t have a girly name or any kind of “cooling sensation”, and to make sure it smelled good.

I flipped open a bunch and by the end I had over-inhaled and couldn’t smell a thing. Each time I had to put one back and get another, the loud doorbell would go off. It was ridiculous and they had them behind four different doors. I had to have huffed at least ten bottles. When I finally made my choice (triple moisture something or other) I made my way up to get in the rush hour traffic cashier’s line. I couldn’t help but ask the cashier what the deal was with the doorbell. This is how smoothly that conversation went down:

Me: So, what’s the deal with the doorbell going off every time I opened the case to get out the body wash?
Cashier: That’s to let us know when someone is trying to steal something.
Me: Body Wash?
Cashier: Yeah, peoples might try to steal it.
Me: Hmm, I would have thought people might try to steal electronics, like those different kinds of chargers, or maybe batteries, cassettes or things that might fit into your pockets…maybe even candy or something more expensive like shampoo or conditioner.
Cashier: Them alarms is what lets us know if someone is going to steal something.
Me: But it’s just on the bottles of body wash…
Cashier: Yeah
Me: ...I thought that sounded like an alarm.
Cashier: Yeah, it let’s us know if somebody is going to steal something.
Me: ….(didn’t she just say that?) I wondered if someone was going to come back there and watch me pick out my soap, haha…….
Cashier:…..
Me: So, y’all have a problem with people trying to steal these big, heavy bottles of body wash?
Cashier: No, cause we’ve got alarms on them and that lets us know if somebody is trying to steal them.
Me: …but it seems like…ummmm, I mean…..a smaller thing would in your pocket…or maybe something more expensive....

It was at that point that I realized I was trying to reason with a fern and that I was fighting a losing battle, so I just told her “thank you” and went on my way. I drove off completely amused by the Fort Knox treatment of their body wash and then it hit me. It was all my fault. People have been reading my posts! That’s what this was all about. The time I used the soap with the “cooling sensation” and I tingled in all the wrong places and my latest Strawberry Shortcake episode, it was all making sense. The word has been getting around, people have been “sharing” and now people are flocking to the stores to get the coveted scented body wash. Heavily scented body wash is the new “Tickle Me Elmo”. I’ve caused a rush; body wash has gone viral and now it has to be surrounded by a Plexiglas case and an alarm. It was a proud moment for me just to bask in the knowledge  that I am finally making a difference. I am making things happen; I am moving and shaking. I’m mixing it up...I am outside of the box...and I am thinking.

I hope this doesn’t cross over into other areas of my life and start making things more difficult. I hope Julia’s Bakery doesn’t have to start putting their fudge pie behind a glass…..oh my gosh!...OMG…this just got legit!  I can’t…somehow I hadn’t even made the connection…a room full of big, protective, glass cases just for deserts…wow…the power of the pen. Now that I think about it, my gym had to knock down a wall and expand because of overcrowding. They also refer to the Crossfit gym as "the box"...oh my gosh...there's that word again.  I am thinking outside the box...coincidence?...I don't think so! Have I become the Mark Zuckerberg of the "make it a fad...make it a must-have" world? I think I might need to step back and take a few days off to think about this. I am no predictor of the future but here's a little insider trading tip for you. If I were you and I needed a crock-pot, I would go ahead and get one because pretty soon I am going to be creating a little slow-cooker magic and I doubt I will be able to keep quite about it. I'm going to have to be careful what I write about in the future. I may even have to close down this page.  I guess I should pass on a little advice here; do as I say and not as I do: Choose your words carefully people…..words have consequences…yeah.