Sometimes You Feel Like A Nut Sometimes You Don't

I don’t know exactly what happened tonight. I have been doing so well. I’ve been watching portion control, sugar, calories, everything. Tonight I went into Kroger with the idea that I was going to do a little “reward session” and make a sugar free, low fat, apple cobbler. There we apples in my cart; I do remember that but the rest is a blur. Something took over, something powerful. The only thing I can think of was, yes, you guessed it, my inner manbearpig. It had come out of hibernation and what with the pending snow storm, decided to prepare for a re-hibernation.

All I can tell you is that when I left Kroger, I had the ingredients to make an Almond Joy cobbler. “How do you make an Almond Joy cobbler” you might ask? I have no idea but I am assuming that my inner manbearpig does. I checked on it a few minutes ago and realized that I had made the basic cobbler recipe wrong. If you have ever made a “quick cobbler” then you know that rule number one is that the butter/oil does not get mixed into the batter. It goes in the bottom of the dish and the batter goes over the top. If you mix it all together is too thin. Well, in my “haste to make waist”, I mixed it all together. I think I remember making this mistake once before, years ago and it took about two days to get done. I am pretty sure that it makes it turn rubbery or something. I also noticed that I forgot the almonds…the almonds! How do you make an Almond Joy cobbler with no almonds? Let’s face it; it is no longer an Almond Joy cobbler. It is a Mounds Bar cobbler. Basically, I took the “joy” out of the cobbler. Still, my love handles are quivering in anticipation.

This had better be good. I haven’t had the real thing in a long time and these calories had better be worth it. If not, the neighbor’s dog is in for a treat. That dog should like me by now but it just growls when it sees me…hmmmm, now that I have put that in writing I think I just figured out why it hates me so much. It’s probably blaming me for all its stomach aches. I know they feed it people food but my cooking mistakes can be pretty epic. My recent crockpot “rice/broccoli loaf” and subsequent rice/broccoli patties probably topped the charts for culinary tragedies. It’s much easier to throw away a “grain wreck” than it is a desert-gone-bad. No matter how rubbery or joyless this desert turns out to be, I have a feeling that it won’t be anything that a little microwaving and scoop of ice cream can’t fix.
#yumgrrroink